Let The Battle Begin!

11:19 AM Eunnah 0 Comments

I’ve always been the rebellious child, the black sheep in the family. Even though I grew up alongside the rod, I let my mind exist in a space following no set of rules. I let my actions be a consolation for discipline but not a habit for character. Eventually, I don’t just follow half-heartedly. I follow with no heart at all because I use words instead of actions just for the sake of appeasement. I’m not talking about house chores here. I’m talking about life advices that your parents lay out for your soul to eat as you walk down the path of life.
Just like any other typical teenager, I enjoyed living a worldly life. Widely listening to popular songs and dressing up with respect to the latest fashion trend became my indulgence. Conformity came in handy as the flesh induces immoral pleasures. In a blink of an eye, I found my life focused on wicked treasures on earth. I can’t even believe I am a product of two Christian parents whose eyes are set on heavenly matters.
Nothing is heavenly in me.
In tactless words, I lived a sinful life. And I enjoyed it.
For countless times, I’ve disobeyed my parents. For some reason, I was angry. I hated life for what it is. But most of all, I was sad. I can feel a burning and searing hole in my chest. It’s like emptiness decided to take form physically. I know it’s discontentment that’s really consuming me. I couldn’t find my purpose at all. Worldly pleasure was like the temporary “filler” in that expanding hole of emptiness. What I didn’t realize sooner was the side effect that doubled the pain and made me more miserable than what I already am.
Pathetic, right?
(..To be continued.)

An undeserving mess of a person, loved by the One who made all things possible.

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